| 1 |
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Jimmie Johnson |
His Monday morning went like this: "I was greeted at sunrise by my crew chief and a group of friends, including Mike Hampton from the Atlanta Braves, with a champagne spray. My wife and I were asleep. I don't know how in the world they got a room key to get in. I was trying to catch a couple hours sleep before our days started. Those clowns barged in and nailed me like you've never seen." |
| 2 |
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Matt Kenseth |
Under the old point system, he would have lost the title to Johnson by four points. And some stats geek would have argued that Johnson won the title in March when he passed Kenseth on the final lap to win at Vegas. |
| 3 |
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Kevin Harvick |
Actual sentence I saw on a pre-race program at Homestead-Miami: "It is GM Goodrench’s last year, could it be a remberance (actual spelling) of the #3 car?" |
| 4 |
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Kasey Kahne |
Kahne’s blurb on the pre-race program I saw was almost as bad: "He has the most wins of any driver. Can he give Everhamn a title?" |
| 5 |
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Tony Stewart |
Denny Hamlin said that he had a handshake bet with Tony Stewart that he would better Tony’s fourth-place finish as a rookie. I am sure Denny got it wrong. Surely, Tony bet a milkshake, not a handshake. |
| 6 |
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Denny Hamlin |
He had some great quotes during the very mundane championship contenders press conference. Denny was sitting next to Dale Jr., away from Johnson, Kenseth and Harvick. And Denny announced that he and Dale Jr. had dubbed it the "slim-chance table." Those two reminded me of Beavis and Butthead. That is a good thing, by the way. |
| 7 |
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Jeff Gordon |
I just found out that his wife is older than he is. He must have been inspired by Kasey Kahne. |
| 8 |
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Kyle Busch |
The Busch brothers are famous for making words up. Not sure if I told you guys yet, but one of the ones Kyle used this year was "turnability." |
| 9 |
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Jeff Burton |
There are lot of times where I sit and think that Burton’s resurgence was the story of the year. He could have won about four times. |
| 10 |
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Dale Earnhardt Jr. |
Report: Enraged Dale Jr. quits Gillette Young Gun program after Newman shaves another 12 on his head |
| 11 |
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Mark Martin |
I think Roush hired Travis Kvapil as insurance for David Ragan, which makes sense, because Kvapil is the greatest driver to ever come out of the Czech Republic. |
| 12 |
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Greg Biffle |
Greg Biffle once raised a red flag with a competitor when he urinated on the floor of his Late Model, which, when it drained onto the track, caused someone to approach Biffle and tell him he was leaking water. |
| 13 |
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Kurt Busch |
He ran just nine laps at Homestead. Which means he was sitting on his couch watching Jimmie celebrate like the normal race fan. With his sunglasses on. |
| 14 |
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Carl Edwards |
As you probably know, his motorcoach driver hasn’t shaved since Carl’s last win. But thanks to his very long beard, he will play Jesus in his church’s Christmas pageant. Seriously. |
| 15 |
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Brian Vickers |
"Johnson comes down to take the white flag. The lap car of Vickers is ahead of him. Oh no! Vickers turns into Johnson! Kenseth comes around! He takes the championship! And there’s a fight in the infield!" |
| 16 |
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Clint Bowyer |
Bowyer: Cultural Learnings of RCR for Make Benefit Glorious State of Kansas |
| 17 |
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Casey Mears |
That was pretty bad when Newman wrecked Montoya. Montoya handled it well though. I expected him to come out of the infield care center and shout: “Newest man! I will purchase South Penske Motorsports Racing and relieve you of your driving jobs!” |
| 18 |
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Ryan Newman |
Before the season, I predicted that Newman would contend for the title. Like Ron White says, you can’t fix stupid. And it was me who was stupid. |
| 19 |
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Bobby Labonte |
This season showed what a good driver this man really is. He’s the best gray-haired guy out there. |
| 20 |
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Scott Riggs |
I wonder if that suspended pit crew member will be back for Daytona next year. If not, it’ll be the second straight he has missed. |
| 21 |
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Reed Sorenson |
Thank heavens the season is over. It’s not easy writing 37 Reed Sorenson jokes, as you have probably ascertained. |
| 22 |
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Jamie McMurray |
Report: Johnson’s championship moves McMurray into top 15 drivers without a title |
| 23 |
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Martin Truex Jr. |
Good way to close the season, but 10 bucks says Denny thought Truex was a lap down there on the final lap at Homestead. |
| 24 |
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Dale Jarrett |
Random fact that you probably didn’t know: He turns 50 on Sunday. |
| 25 |
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J.J. Yeley |
The NBC announcers openly wondered why Yeley would stay out during that late caution to lead a lap. It was to get those valuable five Nextel Cup bonus points. |