

Well, I will start out by being serious. This is the final week where I will write the Power Rankings, but the feature will remain on the site every Wednesday. Thank you for reading the past four years, and sorry I beat a dead horse the past two years with all the Tony Stewart fat jokes.
On to the other 24 ...

Not the nicest guy in the world, but you have to admire his last-lap charge. That boy just stood on the gas. He did not give a crap, he was going to the front. Remind you of anyone?

I guess eventually he is going to run for government office. I just hope he does not use Ward for the ad voice-overs. He would have to buy commercial time that runs 12 consecutive minutes so Ward could read the whole script in time, but if he needs those 12 minutes of ad time, all he has to do is advertise during a Nextel Cup Series race.

Yeah. I would run from them, too. Except the redhead. She is kind of growing on me.

Miller again challenged Budweiser to a bet like last year. Bud did not accept it last year, and it is a shame, because it would have won. It would have been Bud's second victory of the year, matching Denny Hamlin.

Someone breathlessly reported (OK, it was ESPN) that Teresa was actually in Daytona. What a shocker. Not. Why do people report stuff like this? Now, if Teresa had walked into a Daytona Beach tattoo parlor with a shaved head, that is different.

Counting the golf-cart crash, Daytona marked his second major accident since Homestead.

Report: Gordon impresses unborn baby with sensational last-lap move to get 10th in brilliant battle with David Stremme.

So now he is an in-car reporter for the Busch races this season. Is the Busch Series competition so bad that ESPN has to make it tougher on Carl by interviewing him while he is trying to lap Eric McClure in Turn 4 at 184 mph?

When it was announced last week that the Boston Red Sox had purchased half of Roush Racing, I thought, "Well, 2003 was Kenseth's final championship -- unless he drives another 86 years."

Report: Fifty million Daytona 500 viewers breathe sigh of relief after Kyle Busch is shown at the beach with his shirt on during pre-race show.

Chester Copperpot from Coos Bay, Ore., writes, "What is up with Denny Hamlin's unnaturally stern expression in the picture to the left?"

Oh, he was about to cry over losing the Daytona 500. And that is just because he didn't get to meet Kelly Ripa on Monday morning. I would cry, too. I would be a blubbering mess.

In the Busch race, he was JuanPablowned motor.

That was an insane-looking crash he had on the final lap. They should use footage of it in a commercial that says, "This is what happens when you do not drink responsibly."

This already is a weird year. Tony Stewart is eating turkey sandwiches on whole wheat, and Biffle is busy eating 87 Oreo Double Stufs.

He was part of that crazy finish. I love finishes like that. It is not that I enjoy the photo finishes or anything like that. It is because I love to watch Kenny Wallace go nuts and start screaming and waving his arms on the post-race show. There is no telling how much Ambien he needed after watching that mess.

Britney Spears simply wanted her head to look like Casey's. End of story. Britney Spears Shears Mears.

I was really hoping to see Truex win the 500. I was going to ask my bosses to use Truex rains down on field as the main headline.

True story: I saw a fan at Daytona with a coat made up entirely of Crown Royal bags. They were all sewn together. It was amazing. His liver must love him.

The media can be crazy sometimes. His plight was the top story on both the CNN and FOX news Web sites. During his tense news conference this past Thursday, all I could think of was, "I will bet Mikey is praying the father of Anna Nicole's baby will be announced in the next five minutes."

NASCAR docked him five laps for running down pit road and crashing into Ken Schrader on the frontstretch. Then it parked him with about 15 to go. I am glad NASCAR finally cracked down on that renegade Blaney. He is one loose cannon.

I kept waiting for Evernham Motorsports to name Erin Crocker as the replacement for the suspended Rodney Childers atop the pit box.

A thought I had during the red flag: Snickers needs to shoot a commercial with a red-flag shot of Rudd sitting in his car. Not going anywhere for awhile? Grab a Snickers.

I am going to muster up the courage to walk up to him and ask, with a straight face, "Dale, all that chrome on MWR's wheels -- is that legal? How did the team sneak it past the inspectors?"