

Advice for the dad-to-be:
A father is someone who carries pictures where his money used to be.
... Unless you drive a Brinks truck, like Jeff; Rainbow Bright will have billboards for snapshots.

Ability can take you to the top, but it takes character to keep you there.
... Jeff could have dumped Kyle Busch and would have been showered with cheers at Bristol. But he didn't -- and received even more kudos.

Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted.
... Anyone else remember that Jack Roush tabbed Greg Biffle -- and not Matty -- as the face of the organization after Mark Martin's departure? Not that Kenseth wanted to be the lead dog off the track.

Quickly, I must hurry, for there go my people and I am their leader.
... In the points he's behind Gordon -- who holds the deed to Martinsville Speedway -- and Kyle Busch is closing.

Don't be irreplaceable; if you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
... Denny (and J.J. Yeley) will remain in Tony Stewart's shadow, but Hamlin -- for whatever reason, mostly those outside the drivers' control -- continues to be Gibbs' most consistent driver.

Success always occurs in private and failure in full view.
... Again had the car to beat but, like Daytona, was felled by no fault of his own. It's the EA Curse.

Something to remember when discussing the Car of Tomorrow:
After all is said and done, more is said than done.
... Kyle, 'preciate your candor but it sucks that you took the spotlight off the Bowtie Boys' 600th victory. That was a once-in-a-lifetime experience; the COT will "suck" many more times before you like it.

Better to understand a little than to misunderstand a lot.
DeLana doesn't have to take off her hat for the national anthem, says those who teach protocol. ... So can we talk about Kevin's driving and give a tip o' the hat for his fourth-place finish at Bristol?

It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.
Consider this a shot across the bow: RCR is back among the haves; Bowyer is right there with Burton and Harvick as those you have to keep an eye on each week.

Carl's latest fan club has a catchy slogan:
Wear short sleeves! Support your right to bare arms!
... Nice idea from the ladies, but where would all the Roush associate sponsors put their logos? Well, isn't it just a matter of time before someone sponsors the seat of his pants -- since we've all seen the ad-less backflips?

OK, who put a stop payment on my reality check?
... He just isn't going away! Five consecutive top-20 finishes, 11th in points ... David is the real story at Ganassi Racing.

If at first you don't succeed, redefine success.
Sadler was one of the few who could keep pace with Stewart at Bristol, which was a big plus for the No. 19 team. After Stewart faltered, Sadler still kept pace ... which wasn't so much a plus.

Think about it:
It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.
Labonte is giving Petty the consistency it's lacked in the past. Should he be a front-runner for comeback driver of the year, when you consider he's making the best of a situation that's getting better because of him?

On one hand, he's still in the top 15 in points for the fifth consecutive week despite four consecutive finishes worse than the previous.
On the other hand, Yeley has different fingers.

Boycott shampoo! Demand the REAL poo!
... Jamie is bummed that NASCAR enlarged the driver's compartment in the COT; he was hoping for a larger helmet, to keep the 'do intact.

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
... Not that he needs any help attracting the beauties. And remember:
Don't drink and drive. You might hit a bump and spill your drink.

Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.
... Apparently this applies to Ameriquest sponsorship money, too. Biffle's fifth-place finish at Bristol was a much-needed breath of fresh air for the floundering No. 16 team.

If you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?
... About as blue as Kurt was after his 29th-place finish at Bristol.

Overheard in the Tri-Cities:
A driver phoned room service for some pepper.
"Black pepper, or white pepper?" asked the concierge.
"Toilette pepper!"

Motto of the Official Robby Gordon Fan Club:
A friend is someone who thinks you're a good egg even though you're slightly cracked.

When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane and going the wrong way.
... Just when everyone believed Penske would make its presence felt, Kurt nor Ryan never factored into the race. Wonder if Rusty Wallace might have a tip or two, since he was keen on the old-school setups?

Overheard on his in-car audio after his fourth spin:
"I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe."
... Yeah, you could say that.

The room at Bristol was so small, when I put the key in, I broke the window!
What did you expect? DEI is cutting corners while trying to resign Junior. ... Finishing 37th at Bristol was a hiccup.

The sooner you fall behind the more time you'll have to catch up.
... Don't take it literally, Gilligan.

Genius does what it must, talent does what it can, and you had best do what you're told.
... He's the only Hendrick driver not in the top six in points; Casey is 26th -- up six spots after finishing 10th at Bristol. Learn from your teammates, grasshopper, and the rest will take care of itself.