@nascarcasm: Get to know William Byron and feel really old in the process

William Byron was born in 1997, two years after celebrities like Kiam Lawley and Bethany Mota. You probably don't know who they are. I don't either. They're 'YouTube stars.' People who became famous on YouTube. You now probably feel really old because you had no idea people get now get famous on YouTube. Well, William is two years YOUNGER than THOSE PEOPLE.

William Byron was born in November of 1997 - several months after the Backstreet Boys released their single, 'Quit Playing Games With My Heart.' Feeling arthritic yet? Yep, William was merely an embryo while you were busy pretending you didn't like the Backstreet Boys while illegally downloading their albums. YOU KNOW YOU WERE.

Before William Byron was born, you probably killed several virtual pets. Which, by the way, if you did, then you shouldn't even be trusted with the well-being of a house plant. You're as responsible as Paul Menard is unable to constantly break into showtunes.

According to Wikipedia, William Byron became interested in racing when he was six years old. Wikipedia was founded in January of 2001, while William was three years old. WILLIAM HAS NEVER KNOWN NOT BEING ABLE TO PLAGIARIZE TERM PAPERS BY COPYING AND PASTING WIKIPEDIA ARTICLES. YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW HARD IT WAS COPYING ENCYCLOPEDIAS WORD FOR WORD, PIPSQUEAK. YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW.

Hanson's groundbreaking album debut was released in 1997 before William Byron was released. That damn song has been stuck in your head for longer than William has been alive. I don't know exactly how long that is in MMMbops.

William Byron was noticed as a teenager on iRacing - the popular sim racing service, where he accrued many wins. Just think about that. Remember your parents yelling at you for playing too many video games? Yeah, well, they led to William landing a job at one of NASCAR's most legendary teams. Us old people got screwed out of that deal. Imagine the Williams sisters being discovered because they were just really good at Pong.

William Byron didn't start driving actual cars until 2012. This means he's only been driving about as long as the Mars Curiosity Rover. Congratulations on now feeling as old as the dust the rover is collecting.

William Byron's team owner, Dale Earnhardt Jr., is more than twice as old as William, and has 'Jr.' in his last name. This is why his name should be legally changed to 'William Byron, Zygote.'

Remember all the bad jokes we used to make about Chase Elliott being young? Well William Byron is even younger than HIM. Let that sink into your deteriorating brain. Picture Chase calling William, 'Young man.' It'll happen. If this doesn't make you start Googling 'sit-down showers' and 'discount burial plots,' nothing will.