@nascarcasm recaps 2020 Phoenix spring race

This here logo for Championship Weekend at Phoenix Raceway sure is a "butte!" Give it a second. OK, give it one more.

Do not drop the window net and exit the car until you have confirmed visually that Dillon Bassett has been removed from the immediate premises.

"Hi Jimmie, I heard you're retiring after this season, so do you mind signing every single piece of memorabilia I own?"

Can't tell if she asked for Joey Logano to sign her shirt or if she booed him and then he wrote "OK Boomer" on the back of her shirt when she had her back turned.

Riley Herbst joins the benevolent fraternity of those who also are not giving a fist bump to Noah Gragson.

When a car with an eight-inch spoiler jumps into a very cold pool.

I'm gonna give you an engine low to the ground ... extra thick oil pan to cut the wind from underneath you. It'll give you 30 or 40 more horsepower. I'm gonna give you a fuel line that'll hold an extra gallon of gas. I'm gonna shave half an inch off you and shape you like a bullet. I'll get you primed, painted and weighed, and you'll be ready to go out on that race track. Hear me? You're gonna be perfect.

Whenever you need a little pick-me-up, just look down at the Michael McDowell-shaped crater on pit road at Phoenix Raceway.

Due to attention span issues, it's the bi-annual reassurance to Clint that yes, the start-finish line is indeed over there now.

Pitbull and Blake Shelton, AKA "Mr. Worldwide and Mr. Double-Wide."

Awesomeness = a track with about 26 grooves.

Always a factor at Phoenix Raceway, Kevin Harvick raced like a man who knows he might have to shell out $50,000 next week at Atlanta.

The year is 2020. The No. 00 car wrecked out. So, if you take the "00" out of "2020," that leaves "22" which means through numerology, it is the year of Joey Logano.