@nascarcasm: Renaming the Daytona Road Course turns

Before you “Well, actually…” us, yes, we’re aware many of the turns on the fabled Daytona International Speedway road course already have names. “The Bus Stop,“ “The International Horseshoe,” yeah, we know them. But NASCAR’s top three series are all going to run it Aug. 15-16. This calls for a one-weekend-only relabeling of the corners. Some suggestions.

Geographically, it’s the southernmost spot on NASCAR’s schedule where a bunch of cars are gonna sail into a tight 180-degree turn and like four might make it through unscathed.

Named after 1.) The human body’s reaction to successfully getting into turn 1, and 2.) I mean, look at it. Turn 1 just rotated drivers 180 degrees, while Turn 2 is barely a kink in the road. It seems unfair to the other turns to assign this one its own designation.

Pretty self-explanatory, this one.

It sort of resembles a whale’s fluke. Squint like Joey Logano – you’ll see it.

Bonus points if they set up an infield hot dog stand.

“Look, I was VERY unprepared to be working this hard today…”

That’s what your spotter’s probably gonna accidentally call it for the first 10 laps or so.

For the first time, you are not in a pack of 20 cars running 190 mph nose to tail where one little twitch triggers a giant wreck. Enjoy this brief moment of Zen. Ask your team to play some Enya over the radio.

At long last, we pay homage to our finest inferno.

What? If we can simply change the names of Turn 1 and Turn 2 to Turn 7 and Turn 8, it would seem all rules are off. Let’s keep the lies rolling.

We outsourced the naming of this one. Thank you, Clint Bowyer.

Ugh, we shouldn’t have let the fate of this turn’s name to an Internet poll.

We asked Kyle Busch to name Turn 14. Use your imagination.