Derby designations: NASCAR Whelen Modified Tour drivers as race horses

This name only seems appropriate for this young, second-generation talent. Ignoring his obvious driving talent and that if you Google “Austin Beers” the first 10 search returns are Austin, Texas-area hipster-loaded microbreweries, we just think it works on many levels.

A not-so-subtle homage to 1977 Triple Crown winner Seattle Slew. Now, people will likely point out that Jersey-born Jimmy Blewett is not from Seattle. In fact, New Jersey is quite far from Seattle. Ignore those people. Just gaze at the equine majesty that is Seattle Blew.

Just give it a minute.

Three Whelen Modified Tour championships? This one writes itself.

Yes, this sounds brutally unimaginative, but HEAR ME OUT. Tommy is a third-generation driver from a family with a rich racing history. Therefore, he is the young colt of the family. Plus, you can’t spell “CATALANO” without “COLT.” Eh? Yeah. CLEVER.

It seems appropriate for points leader and Riverhead, New York’s own Eric Goodale’s horse name to be the phonetic pronunciation of “Long Island” by those from Long Island. Long Island is beautiful. Other names considered were “Ruhgahdless” and “Let’s Go To Tha Stoah On Tha Cornah For A Cawfee And A Gahllic Knot.”

As in he shows up at the big-money races, strikes it rich, and leaves. An effective business model, really.

Really we wanted to combine horse racing with the Sapienza vibe that we’ve all come to know and absolutely love*. (*Statement does not include Whelen Modified Tour officials)

You take the legendary Man O’ War and replace “Man” with “Ron.” Sometimes a lot of thought goes into giving your horse a thoughtful name. This is not one of those times.

"So hear me out. The Nautilus is the formidable submarine from "20,000 Leagues Under The Sea." So why is Doug Coby's horse name "Nautilus?" Because he's already proven this season that he's one extremely formidable sub. Told you it would eventually make sense."