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From sibling raccoons to anthropomorphic lug nuts to stuffed goats, let’s break down the current state of track mascots in the NASCAR world — who they are, what they’ve got going for them, and what makes us a little uneasy.
From sibling raccoons to anthropomorphic lug nuts to stuffed goats, let’s break down the current state of track mascots in the NASCAR world — who they are, what they’ve got going for them, and what makes us a little uneasy.
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Atlanta Motor Speedway: Monkey Wrench
Species: A monkey who likes pecan pie. We can get behind that.
The case for: Monkey Wrench claims to have aspirations to become a crew chief. We like ambition in a mascot. He also shares a name with a Foo Fighters song, and they rock. Dave Grohl sort of looks like what would have happened if Ryan Blaney hadn’t cut his hair.
The case against: Monkeys can’t drive race cars — although Jocko Flocko was a fine co-driver for Tim Flock back in the ‘50s.
Species: A monkey who likes pecan pie. We can get behind that.
The case for: Monkey Wrench claims to have aspirations to become a crew chief. We like ambition in a mascot. He also shares a name with a Foo Fighters song, and they rock. Dave Grohl sort of looks like what would have happened if Ryan Blaney hadn’t cut his hair.
The case against: Monkeys can’t drive race cars — although Jocko Flocko was a fine co-driver for Tim Flock back in the ‘50s.
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Auto Club Speedway YouTube
Auto Club Speedway: Lefty Turner
Species: Lefty is a car with eyes, not much unlike those living in the 'Cars' universe.
The case for: He’s got his own Family Fun Day and 5K. Pretty impressive he can organize such an event with a car for a body.
The case against: Kasey Kahne is Lefty’s Kids Club President, which seems like a job that should be reserved for a kid. Gosh, give somebody else a chance, Kasey!
Species: Lefty is a car with eyes, not much unlike those living in the 'Cars' universe.
The case for: He’s got his own Family Fun Day and 5K. Pretty impressive he can organize such an event with a car for a body.
The case against: Kasey Kahne is Lefty’s Kids Club President, which seems like a job that should be reserved for a kid. Gosh, give somebody else a chance, Kasey!
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Bristol Motor Speedway: Bump and Run
Species: Raccoons, brother and sister.
The case for: There are two of them. Double the fun!
The case against: There are two of them. On a short track like Bristol, double the mascot count is a pretty insane mascot-per-square-inch measurement.
Species: Raccoons, brother and sister.
The case for: There are two of them. Double the fun!
The case against: There are two of them. On a short track like Bristol, double the mascot count is a pretty insane mascot-per-square-inch measurement.
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NASCAR Hall of Fame YouTube
Charlotte Motor Speedway: Lug Nut
Species: A gigantic walking lug nut, like those found in nature.
The case for: Lug Nut is called the world’s fastest mascot. Nobody else is competing for the title, so we’ll give it to him. Plus, he seems like a friendly lug nut.
The case against: We’re fearful teams might take out their frustration on Charlotte Motor Speedway’s friendly mascot when they earn a post-race penalty for a loose lug nut.
Species: A gigantic walking lug nut, like those found in nature.
The case for: Lug Nut is called the world’s fastest mascot. Nobody else is competing for the title, so we’ll give it to him. Plus, he seems like a friendly lug nut.
The case against: We’re fearful teams might take out their frustration on Charlotte Motor Speedway’s friendly mascot when they earn a post-race penalty for a loose lug nut.
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Chicagoland Speedway Twitter
Chicagoland Speedway: Dash the Cheetah
Species: Cheetah. Duh. The name’s Dash the Cheetah.
The case for: Dash is a cheetah, and cheetahs are fast. Racing is fast. Also, his name isn’t trying too hard to be cute. Yeah, we went there.
The case against: Cheetahs are ferocious mauling machines — terrifying beasts. Although, Chicagoland Speedway claims Dash’s favorite food is a Chicago-style hot dog, so we’ll hope his taste for meat starts and ends there.
Species: Cheetah. Duh. The name’s Dash the Cheetah.
The case for: Dash is a cheetah, and cheetahs are fast. Racing is fast. Also, his name isn’t trying too hard to be cute. Yeah, we went there.
The case against: Cheetahs are ferocious mauling machines — terrifying beasts. Although, Chicagoland Speedway claims Dash’s favorite food is a Chicago-style hot dog, so we’ll hope his taste for meat starts and ends there.
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Dover International Speedway: Miles the Monster
Species: Terrifying, car-clenching monster.
The case for: Standing at 46 feet tall, he’d probably win in a mascot fight.
The case against: He’d probably be the one to start a mascot fight. You can see the utter rage in his monster-y dark red eyes.
Species: Terrifying, car-clenching monster.
The case for: Standing at 46 feet tall, he’d probably win in a mascot fight.
The case against: He’d probably be the one to start a mascot fight. You can see the utter rage in his monster-y dark red eyes.
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www.kentuckyspeedway.com
Kentucky Speedway: Horsepower
Species: A horse, of course.
The case for: Horsepower, as a mascot for Kentucky Speedway, makes sense. You know, Kentucky has some sort of association with horses, we hear.
The case against: Probably can’t find a helmet that would safely fit his head. That might affect a career in stock car racing.
Species: A horse, of course.
The case for: Horsepower, as a mascot for Kentucky Speedway, makes sense. You know, Kentucky has some sort of association with horses, we hear.
The case against: Probably can’t find a helmet that would safely fit his head. That might affect a career in stock car racing.
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Getty Images
Las Vegas Motor Speedway: Pit Boss
Species: An anthropomorphic die, likely the world’s only.
The case for: Always smiling. Equipped with a fire suit in case a race breaks out.
The case against: Reminiscent of the Blockheads from Gumby.
Species: An anthropomorphic die, likely the world’s only.
The case for: Always smiling. Equipped with a fire suit in case a race breaks out.
The case against: Reminiscent of the Blockheads from Gumby.
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www.nhms.com
New Hampshire Motor Speedway: Milo the Moose
Species: Moose, as commonly spotted in New Hampshire.
The case for: His name, Milo, makes a lot of sense, because it’s based off “mile oval”, and, apparently, he can drive legends cars and four-wheelers.
The case against: Moose eat over 50 pounds of food per day. Instead of a granola bar or banana for a mid-race snack, Milo would need, like, 30 cheeseburgers instead. (Or banana-mayo sandwiches. Whatever.)
Species: Moose, as commonly spotted in New Hampshire.
The case for: His name, Milo, makes a lot of sense, because it’s based off “mile oval”, and, apparently, he can drive legends cars and four-wheelers.
The case against: Moose eat over 50 pounds of food per day. Instead of a granola bar or banana for a mid-race snack, Milo would need, like, 30 cheeseburgers instead. (Or banana-mayo sandwiches. Whatever.)
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Pocono Raceway Twitter
Pocono Raceway: Tricky the Fox
Species: A fox. Foxes are tricky. It’s the Tricky Triangle. It all adds up.
The case for: According to his bio, Tricky’s hobbies include skateboarding and recycling, which makes him the coolest fox we know.
The case against: Whenever we see Tricky, that Run DMC song gets stuck in our head for hours.
Species: A fox. Foxes are tricky. It’s the Tricky Triangle. It all adds up.
The case for: According to his bio, Tricky’s hobbies include skateboarding and recycling, which makes him the coolest fox we know.
The case against: Whenever we see Tricky, that Run DMC song gets stuck in our head for hours.
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Getty Images
Texas Motor Speedway: Lil’ Dale
Species: Goat, dead. Bears a spot resembling a “3” on his side.
The case for: If you’re afraid of mascots bearing larger-than-life costumes, Lil’ Dale might be for you — considering, rather than a person in a suit, the track’s mascot is a taxidermied goat. Nobody’s walking around wearing him (we hope).
The case against: He’s a dead, stuffed goat — something inherently less fun than any other mascot on the list. (Sometimes, we miss Sparky the Spark Plug.)
Species: Goat, dead. Bears a spot resembling a “3” on his side.
The case for: If you’re afraid of mascots bearing larger-than-life costumes, Lil’ Dale might be for you — considering, rather than a person in a suit, the track’s mascot is a taxidermied goat. Nobody’s walking around wearing him (we hope).
The case against: He’s a dead, stuffed goat — something inherently less fun than any other mascot on the list. (Sometimes, we miss Sparky the Spark Plug.)