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@nascarcasm: Events that should be Olympic events…
By @nascarcasm | Published: July 31, 2024 10
Alex Slitz | Getty Images
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Alex Slitz | Getty Images
NASCAR is full of interesting things that we think should be considered as Olympic events. Some take physical skill. Some take mental skill. But the International Olympic Committee should take a look at our proposal, because the 2028 games will be here before you know it.
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Sean Gardner | Getty Images for NASCAR.com
THE TWO-MAN SQUEEGEE RIDE
It looks like a simple way to dry a pit box but people simply ignorethe amount of athletic prowess it takes. One team member–the pusher–must have the strength to push a rolling squeegee with a whole dude on it. The other team member–the rider–must balance himself while maintaining a firm pole grip. Like pairs figure skating but with a squeegee.
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Alex Slitz | Getty Images
THE METAL HURL
Just tossing a chunk of jagged sheet metal at a race car–that’s it, that’s the event. It’s the next iteration of the shot put or javelin but better. Those events are intriguing, but they lack one thing, and that’s a target.
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Logan Riely | Getty Images
THE FENCE CLIMB
In NASCAR, it’s the best indicator of athleticism. If you’ve driven 400 hard miles but can still muster the strength to scale the catch fence afterwards, you’re a peak athlete. So let’s make it an event. Although I don’t know of any catch fences in Paris. Whatever, climb the Eiffel Tower instead.
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USING YOUR HANDS AS CARS
When demonstrating how your car is handling or disputing some moves that happened on track, NASCAR drivers are artistes at using their hands. This should be an event. It would be more of an artistic competition, much like rhythmic gymnastics. Technical scores and artistic scores would be awarded. How performative was the athlete as he gesticulated with grace and aplomb, decrying how he was knocked into the wall? Was the performance a mesmerizing hand ballet that brought a tear to your eye? Lots of potential here.
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DIVING INTO A RACE CAR
I’m talking about when there’s an issue inside the car and the crew member has to dive through that window to begin his repairs.That’s a very small window you have to dive through. One minor miscalculation and you’re head-first into the B-post while everyone helps you up and tries not to laugh. This takes skill.
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James Gilbert | Getty Images
ROLLING A LOOSE WHEEL AS FAR AS IT CAN POSSIBLY GO
Hear me out–this event involves loosely attaching a wheel to a race car and then sending that race car out on track. The wheel eventually detaches and the winner is the car that sent the wheel the greatest distance. You’d want to get some high RPM going and then away she goes. Like a big hot rubber discus throw.
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Logan Riely | Getty Images
PUSHING A DEAD RACE CAR BACK INTO THE GARAGE
It’d be like the start of a bobsled run but instead of hopping into the bobsled they just push it as fast as they can back to the hauler because the bobsled lost an engine and its done for the day. Team event.
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Brian Lawdermilk | Getty Images
CAR SURFING
No explanation necessary. Maybe a little easier than actual surfing because there areno waves, other than the wave of jubliation because you just won a race.
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James Gilbert | Getty Images