@nascarcasm: 2023 thank you notes

Every year, we like to send out a few thank yous to people, places, things and moments that made the season memorable.

In 2023, Denny took the polarization knob and absolutely cranked it up to 11. Whether it was racing Kyle Larson super hard at Kansas, exclaiming “I just beat your favorite driver!” while bathing in a chorus of boos or dropping piping-hot takes on his new podcast, Denny made that heel turn and never looked back. Sports are a passion play. You need the heroes to root for, and the villains to root against. So, thank you, Denny, and good luck in the most popular driver vote. LOL J/K.

If not for you, we’d have no idea that Atlanta Motor Speedway offered valet service. Best of luck next year at Kaulig Racing. You’re a great dude that clearly leaves it all out there on the track.

Your Daytona 500 victory was gutsy, exciting and proved that the single-car teams are still capable of winning the big ones. We also learned that even after 500-plus miles in a race car, you’re still capable of climbing a tall catchfence. We get it. You work out. No need to Crossfit after winning our Super Bowl and making me feel physically insufficient, which I am.

The star of the Bristol Dirt Race was not the winner. It was this marvelous, shining beacon hovering above the track like an angel. You see, the normal choose mark could not be made in the dirt, because apparently, we did not have the technology on hand to do so, which is known as a “stick.” Instead, this glorious grid levitated during pace laps and drivers chose high or low. It will always be remembered, and in my opinion, should also be used to deliver nachos and beer to fans in the stands.

We’re keeping him.

LOOK WHO’S BACK … BACK AGAIN. We can’t thank Cousin Carl enough for coming to Darlington Raceway earlier this year to be honored as one of NASCAR’s 75 greatest drivers. By all account, he looks tremendous and in fantastic shape, and has not, as my theory went, become Amish. Look, he disappeared completely. I just assumed, OK.

Without you, the pace laps at WWT Raceway wouldn’t resemble deleted scenes from “Oppenheimer.”

The North Wilkesboro glow-up was like the eighth wonder of the world. Historic? Unquestionably. Dilapidated? Yes. But a collective effort to restore this legendary NASCAR track was not only successful, but good enough to host the 2023 All-Star Race. And it all started on a cold winter day a couple years back when Dale Earnhardt Jr. and crew weed-wacked the surface so the track could be scanned for iRacing. Thank you for your hard work, Dale. And if you still do landscaping, my garden beds have weeds that need pulled.

In addition to a full-time Xfinity Series schedule, Josh Berry took over the honorary title of “NASCAR Super-Sub” in 2023. He drove the Nos. 9, 48 and the 42 in the Cup Series. He drove half of Hendrick Motorsports' Cup Series fleet. And to think, he was only one instance of William Byron stepping barefoot on a Lego away from driving a third. Thanks for pulling overtime, Josh.

We thank Chris Buescher for just being that dude. That dude that worked several hard years to get where he is now – a multi-time race winner and playoff contender. We’ve been fans of Chris since the population of Prosper, Texas was only 20,000 and can’t wait to see what he does next.

Dover domination! It was a thrill watching you earn that first career Xfinity Series win, as well as your brother winning the Cup Series race the same weekend. Plus, it was fun seeing everyone on social media who saw these photos saying they had no idea Dave Grohl drove race cars.

What a career. What a legacy. What a large number of nicknames. It was an honor and a privilege to watch your successful 23-year career in the Cup Series, and there’ll never be another. Actually, there will be, and it’s Keelan, but that’s down the road and it’s just a figure of speech anyways. We would say “We hope in retirement you can enjoy some relaxation, peace and quiet” but then we remembered that you’ll be in a booth standing next to Clint Bowyer every weekend.

One of the joys in life is watching an awkward situation unfold that doesn’t involve you. And egads did that happen during the fall Xfinity Series race at Martinsville. We’re not here to assign blame or judgement; we’re just here to say that was intriguing, unexpected and great content. I’ve never personally sat in the audience at a taping of “The Jerry Springer Show” but after this I sort of got the experience. Good luck in your future endeavors. (We’re going to pretend like Austin Hill didn’t tell us what they were in a fit of anger.)

The sequel was just as good as the original, Ben. The press conference was not unlike the championship race itself – wild, unpredictable, and a little bit drunk.

Bravely and honorably serving no purpose whatsoever for years.

We don’t feel you have gotten the credit you deserve for helping lead Ryan Blaney and the No. 12 team to the 2023 Cup Series Championship. We acknowledge the mystical power that resides in that tuft. We hope you have a relaxing offseason, before preseason media day when Ryan will grab the razor, turn on the water, and clog whatever sink in the house he’s using.