@nascarcasm: All-NASCAR Olympic team
By @nascarcasm | Friday, July 23, 2021
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In your mind, which drivers would you choose to build a squad worthy of representing NASCAR in the Olympics? We gave it some thought …
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WHY: Jeffrey Earnhardt spends 80% of his downtime shooting things with a bow and arrow. The dude is as ready for the Summer Games as he is The Hunger Games. And since someone will ask, the other 20% is spent yanking 600-pound catfish out of the water.
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WHY: I mean, maybe he knows people who would be good additions to the team. Maybe friends. Or team co-owners. Or maybe a certain individual who falls into both categories. Who’s to say, really?
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WHY: Austin Cindric is 8 feet tall. Doesn’t matter what the two clowns on the other side would try – Cindric would just stand by the net and swat the ball back at them with the force of 100 Dikembe Mutombos.
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WHY: Because he saw the “uniform” and immediately volunteered.
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WHY: The skills learned during Ryan Blaney’s many years of playing with lightsabers at home would be easily transferable.
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WHY: 1.) It involves speed, and Reddick is fast, and 2.) Distance wise, it is one time around. Therefore, he doesn’t have to remember what lap he’s on, which is not his strength.
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WHY: Honestly because it’d just be really funny watch him try to jump over something taller than pit wall.
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WHY: If a race car can’t get by Ryan Newman, then a little white plastic ball sure as hell can’t either.
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WHY: He has extensive experience with lifting things over his head and then throwing them back down on the ground.
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WHY: Because he has an incredible wrestling record – he has only lost once.