@nascarcasm: Hey drivers, which Christmas song are you?

Alex Bowman: Bowman and Rudolph are kindred spirits. We used to laugh and call them names -- “Pinocchio” and “Bad-Luck Bowman," respectively. Then the head honcho of both of their workplaces says “Hey, I got a big job for you, bro." Rudolph guides the sleigh. Bowman takes over Dale Jr.'s No. 88 car. Bowman is practically a Rudolph reboot.

Ryan Blaney: Because you can totally see your mom trying that on Ryan Blaney also.

Clint Bowyer: If you look at the lyrics it's pretty much what you'd expect from Clint. He shows up all happy and merry, and then like two verses later absolutely refuses to leave the place unless he gets a drink and some damn pudding.

Austin Dillon: So Grandma gets a little tipsy and heads on outside and she's found with an incriminating mark on her back -- basically Austin Dillon's Daytona 500 celebration.

Denny Hamlin: Because with Denny doing the math, you'll wind up with way more days of Christmas and way more gifts. “On the 3,766th day of Christmas my true love gave to me, 34,745 swans a’ swimming, 10,877 geese a’ laying, 67,899 GOLDEN RINNNNNNNNNNGS ..."

Jimmie Johnson: “Wonderful Christmastime" by Paul McCartney and Jimmie Johnson's 2018 season are practically synonymous. Both Paul and Jimmie are legends. Paul McCartney wrote “Let It Be," “Yesterday" and “Hey Jude." Jimmie Johnson has seven championships. But watching Jimmie's uncharacteristic 2018 was a lot like hearing the first notes of this odious composition. It’s the “Oh baby, what is you doing" acknowledgement that even legends can have a blemish on their record. But much like how this song disappears once Christmas is over, so will Jimmie's 2018, and we know he'll be back with a vengeance.

Kasey Kahne: Practically the anthem of his racing career. Santa shows up and there's this woman there trying to kiss him when she KNOWS he has work to do. This is basically Kasey walking to driver intros. “Like, that’s nice and all but can I just do my job?"

Joey Logano: Because you can change it to “Squinter Wonderland" and that right there is a 24-karat-gold 100 percent grade-A pun that isn't at all overused.

Paul Menard: (No explanation required)

Ryan Newman: “Up on the housetop, click, click, click/Down through the chimney with old Saint Nick" go the lyrics, but Ryan Newman will tell you Santa isn't real and that's just another hoax landing that never actually happened.