Stock Car Racing’s Entertainers of the Year: Part Two

It's time for today's drivers to give us a follow-up to the album that was recorded in the mid 80s. We have ideas. Again.

Ryan Blaney's track would be something a la 70s Tom Jones – perhaps a sequel to his hit, "What's New, Pussycat?" However, Blaney would use the song to pay tribute to a very large and vocal portion of his fan base. When performed live, Blaney would shake and gyrate, driving the moms into a frenzy. It would be a surreal scene -- and disturbing also, if you witness your own mom throw her undergarments onstage at a guy 30 years younger. But there's therapy for that.

It would be a crime for Clint's track to not fully represent the essence of Clint. That's why it would be a jangly stomp, featuring Clint on a washtub bass and backed up by a jug band from his hometown of Emporia, Kansas. Lots of hootin' and hollerin' and a killer washboard solo midway through. One verse, repeated three times -- due to his attention span, there's only so much he can commit to memory.

Matt would probably pen his own version of ZZ Top's hit song "Sharp Dressed Man." But add his own spin to it. And he'd probably demand to record naked.

Denny is the freestyle-battle champion of the NASCAR garage. He would probably drop a sick verse for the album. "I destroy on the mic / And I'm good friends with Michael / Jordan and hoardin' Harley Earls like psycho / What, you mad / You can't top the 1-1 / Been in 10,000 battles and I ain't lost one." His mixtapes are like actual tape -- they blow things up.

Jimmie Johnson is known for his cool, unflinching demeanor. The man is even-keel, defined. Smooth. He is the walking personification of adult-contemporary jazz. His offering, "In The Shadow Of The Seven Trophies (Silhouettes)," would be a lilting composition that would finally allow Jimmie to display his prowess on the alto sax, a la Kenny G. Straight up baby-making music.

Kyle's track would be a fun little country jingle about his love for lapped traffic.

Paul would only record a song for the album under one condition -- he gets to perform an instrumental version (obviously) on his favorite instrument, that being the pan flute. He would cover a song that really speaks to him. I mean, he won't speak back at it, but it speaks to him. The end result would be pure Menardian Zen for the soul.

Set to the tune of Billy Joel's "We Didn't Start The Fire," but it's just Regan doing a rapid-fire listing of all the drivers for which he's filled in at some point in time.

Truex would offer a take-no-prisoners, ear-piercing thrash metal tune that he wrote following the race at Auto Club Speedway this year. It would be about 20 minutes long.

This album would provide an opportunity for Morgan Shepherd to return to his other love -- pulse-pounding electronic dance music. Known in clubs as "Sheplo," he can compose another bass-heavy magnum opus that will get the kids glow-sticking like mad.