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The unwritten rules of NASCAR
By Steve Luvender and @nascarcasm | Tuesday, August 18, 2020
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There’s been a lot of talk about unwritten rules in sports lately. We’re taking the daring step of actually writing the rules-that-aren’t-really-rules in NASCAR, which doesn’t really make them unwritten rules anymore, but let’s just put that Catch-22 aside for a moment.
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Unwritten Rule No. 1: If you’re going to wreck somebody, don’t wreck yourself in the process.
Also called “Cassill’s Rule.” Well, not formally, but it’s often referenced after the time Danica Patrick went to show frustration with Landon Cassill, taking both Cassill and herself out in one fell swoop. When you exact revenge, it must be precise and calculated.
Also called “Cassill’s Rule.” Well, not formally, but it’s often referenced after the time Danica Patrick went to show frustration with Landon Cassill, taking both Cassill and herself out in one fell swoop. When you exact revenge, it must be precise and calculated.
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Unwritten Rule No. 2: Don’t wreck your teammate.
It makes the Monday-morning competition meeting super awkward every single time.
It makes the Monday-morning competition meeting super awkward every single time.
Jared C. Tilton | Getty Images
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Unwritten Rule No. 3: Talking about your favorite driver’s great performance instantly jinxes them.
Ryan Blaney and Jimmie Johnson fans know what this is like.
Ryan Blaney and Jimmie Johnson fans know what this is like.
Jared C. Tilton | Getty Images
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Unwritten Rule No. 4: Pull over for cars on the lead lap.
If you’re a lap down, you’re probably having a bad day; don’t make somebody else’s day worse by racing the second-place car when you’re trying your best to hang on to 29th.
If you’re a lap down, you’re probably having a bad day; don’t make somebody else’s day worse by racing the second-place car when you’re trying your best to hang on to 29th.
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Unwritten Rule No. 5: Fight with your helmet off.
In the eyes of social media, it’s a real party foul to fight somebody but keep your helmet on. Safety measures are out the window when it’s time to throw down.
In the eyes of social media, it’s a real party foul to fight somebody but keep your helmet on. Safety measures are out the window when it’s time to throw down.
Jared C. Tilton | Getty Images
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Unwritten Rule No. 6: It’s impossible to thank anyone enough.
When giving an interview, a driver must state how they “can’t thank them enough” in reference to a sponsor or team owner. Drivers are simply incapable of expressing the correct amount of gratitude.
When giving an interview, a driver must state how they “can’t thank them enough” in reference to a sponsor or team owner. Drivers are simply incapable of expressing the correct amount of gratitude.
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Unwritten Rule No. 7: All in-race driver-to-driver communication must be done via hand gesture.
Heading to pit road? Put the hand out the window. A stupid maneuever almost wrecks both of you? Throw up an arm. A late block? Shoot the bird. Unwritten rules are rules. Well, not really.
Heading to pit road? Put the hand out the window. A stupid maneuever almost wrecks both of you? Throw up an arm. A late block? Shoot the bird. Unwritten rules are rules. Well, not really.
Jared C. Tilton | Getty Images
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Unwritten Rule No. 8: The only exception to Unwritten Rule No. 7 is when there’s a spotter involved. Spotters are the arbitrators of in-race disputes.
“Tell his spotter I’m gonna wreck him if he does that again!”
“Tell his spotter I’m gonna wreck him if he does that again!”
Jared C. Tilton | Getty Images
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Unwritten Rule No. 9: If all else fails, a series of subtweets will get the job done.
Sometimes, a hand gesture or a spotter-delivered message isn’t enough. If the message wasn’t delivered properly, fire off a tweet about how SOME PEOPLE simply don’t know how to drive a race car.
Sometimes, a hand gesture or a spotter-delivered message isn’t enough. If the message wasn’t delivered properly, fire off a tweet about how SOME PEOPLE simply don’t know how to drive a race car.
Jared C. Tilton | Getty Images
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Unwritten Rule No. 10: Avoid driver-introduction booing by carrying your adorable infant.
It’s simply impossible to hurl insults at that driver you can’t stand if they brought their kid along for the pre-race walk-and-wave. Drivers use this method all the time if they’ve recently upset a competitor that has a rabid group of fans. (Sorry to pick on your dad, Brexton.)
It’s simply impossible to hurl insults at that driver you can’t stand if they brought their kid along for the pre-race walk-and-wave. Drivers use this method all the time if they’ve recently upset a competitor that has a rabid group of fans. (Sorry to pick on your dad, Brexton.)
Jared C. Tilton | Getty Images
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Unwritten Rule No. 11: If your driver doesn’t perform as well as their teammates, it’s because they got the “bad car” that week.
If the four team cars are running first, second, third and 14th, it’s because the 14th-place car is simply worse than the others. There’s no other explanation. Note that this rule only works one way: if the cars run first-13th-14th-15th and it’s your driver in the lead, it’s because they’re a superior racer compared to all the teammates.
If the four team cars are running first, second, third and 14th, it’s because the 14th-place car is simply worse than the others. There’s no other explanation. Note that this rule only works one way: if the cars run first-13th-14th-15th and it’s your driver in the lead, it’s because they’re a superior racer compared to all the teammates.
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Unwritten Rule No. 12: “One of them racin’ deals” is code for “It was my fault.”
“Yep, I guess it was just one of them racin’ deals. No other explanation, really.”
“Yep, I guess it was just one of them racin’ deals. No other explanation, really.”
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