@nascarcasm: Why NASCAR should race in the winter

Picture Loudon, New Hampshire, in December. Absolutely frigid. The Loudon Lobster would like, willingly climb into the pot of boiling water.

Let’s say it turns out you’re really good on snow. What does that mean? You’re now COLD Custer! Or Bowman the Snowman! Or Stewart … oh wait, his last name kind of already works as-is, doesn’t it?

You know the one – it’s the thing where he tries to do a slide in the infield grass, but the slide never actually happens, and he appears to just belly-flop and smashes his groin and all the dudes watching wince and start having abdominal sympathy pains. But in the snow? Wheeeeeeeeeee.

This revolutionary protective wear would protect the driver from not only fire but frigid wind chills, also. And we always say that drivers are “elbows up” on the wheel, so there’s really no need to be able to put your arms down.

We’ve seen on TV how the temperatures can get extremely high in the race car, especially during the races in the middle of summer. Well, here’s a solution. We heard you, we’re now racing in the winter, so here’s your 14-degree Fahrenheit cockpit. You’ll now be in the unfamiliar position of hoping your car overheats.

The Clash at the L.A. Coliseum is spectacular, but if we embraced racing in the dead of winter, it would open up new markets to host the event. Slap one of those awesome temporary quarter-mile tracks smack-dab in the middle of Lambeau Field in Green Bay when the Packers are away or on a bye week. That’s right – COLD-WEATHER CLASH IN THE FROZEN TUNDRA.

Every spring, we cover Bristol Motor Speedway in dirt and race. Snow is basically cold dirt, so covering a track with snow would be no different. In fact, it would take no effort or manpower. It would fall from the sky. In summary, it would be another dirt race but with cold dirt that falls naturally from the atmosphere.