My whole career has been a roller coaster.
It’s been the highest of highs, like when I almost won a championship in 2012. And then this year in the No. 14 Stewart-Haas Racing car and getting that first win in a long time at Martinsville.
You gotta crawl before you can walk. But SHR’s been able to walk pretty damn fast. We’re running toward that championship this year.
The only light at the end of the tunnel was getting in this No. 14 car.
But in my career, there’s also been the lowest of lows. I’ve been through hell and came back out.
Like in 2016, before coming to Stewart-Haas Racing, when I thought there was literally no hope.
• • •
During that time in my career (with HScott Motorsports after Michael Waltrip Racing closed shop), I knew that those were the cards I was dealt — and there was no ace in the deck. There wasn’t a damn face card for that matter. That was the hardest part for me.
Hope is a dangerous thing because it doesn’t matter in a racer’s eye how practice went or how you qualified. There’s always a chance. You have to have that upbeat positive attitude where, no matter how we practiced or qualified, we’re going to have a shot on Sunday.
And then you wouldn’t. And you couldn’t.
The only light at the end of the tunnel was getting in this No. 14 car. That’s the only thing that you can hold onto and just try to survive.
That time was hard, but those are times just like anybody’s life where it’s important to have good people around you, because those are the times when some of those people and some of those relationships can let you down, too. That certainly wasn’t the case with me — I’ve always had good people around me, between my friends, family and my wife Lorra and my kids.
And this year, I’ve got good cars, teammates and organization around me, too.
• • •
When I got this new opportunity at Stewart-Haas Racing in 2017, it was huge. I was so excited to get in that 14 car. So when we struggled my first year, that was difficult.
You’ve got this opportunity that you’ve been waiting for, chomping at the bit for and it’s like, ‘Oh this is not going well.’
It’s hard not to let it go through your head; sometimes I’d think, ‘Well damn, maybe it is me.’
We got close a few times and that was enough for me to have the taste of blood that I needed to keep going. I think that’s the most important thing and I say it all the time — you can’t just imagine capability. Results prove that. The capability was always in the back of my mind, it was just on us to buckle down and get to the bottom of the communication side with me and crew chief Mike Bugarewicz.
Then all of a sudden, this year, it changed. My communication and relationship with Buga got a lot better in the offseason. We worked on the things that we needed to personally and we got our stuff just where it needed to be.
It’s been off to the races ever since — particularly at Martinsville Speedway.
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That hour drive up to Martinsville is quiet and peaceful.
During it, I think about the race going up there and everything that’s going to happen and how my car’s going to react, change throughout the runs.
I knew it was time for me to win.
It really is nice to leave early in the morning and drive up there through the mountains and think about my day.
When I drove there in March this year, I knew it was time for me to win.
You don’t sit in the equipment that I’m sitting in and not get that job done. That’s why Tony Stewart put me in that 14 car. Obviously he and everyone at SHR thought I was capable. And I knew I was capable.
Everybody knew — my family, friends and I knew — that if there was going to be a race that I was going to win at before I quit, it would be Martinsville.
Plus, and I never use this expression, but that place owed me one. I’ve had so many good runs there, been so close, got the shaft, had some dumb crap happen. Just been all over the place at Martinsville. Everything but a win.
I think we just were ready that day. Everything happens for a reason, and I believe that. We were finally poised and ready to beat the best. Prior to that we weren’t. We made mistakes, we always found a way to let one go.
But that day, we beat the best. And that’s what we’ll have to do to win a championship this year.
• • •
For me, the playoffs come at a perfect time.
This is a rejuvenation in the season for me. It pumps new life into ya. I feel like that greyhound dog at the damn dog track. Well, the rabbit I was chasing was kind of wearing out and it wasn’t as appealing.
Now, we get a fresh rabbit here and my butt is back running.
Truthfully, everybody can make a mistake and cost themselves a championship. I don’t care if you’re the Big 3 and won seven races or you’ve won no races. Anybody can get on a roll, anybody can get that momentum going. Anybody can be dangerous within those playoffs.
But it’s my goal to get that championship. It’s really the only goal I have left in my career.
I came into this sport and this was just the craziest, wildest dream that you could ever imagine to even be a part of it. Now I’ve been in it for 14-15 years. We won an Xfinity championship, we’ve won races, we’ve come close to a Cup title before — but if you have all that in your resume, you’ve got to have a championship trophy.
And this is the best opportunity I’ve had since 2012 — and by the way, that’s a long time. Really, this is probably the best opportunity I’ve ever had to battle for that title.
And that’s what you have to do. That’s a damn battle. How you run in those playoffs is a direct result of who’s willing to give and how much they’re willing to give to get it.
I haven’t had the experience of going to Miami as one of those final four drivers. But that 10-race stretch, it’s intense, it’s fun and I’ve been able to rise to the occasion because of that. I’ve always been lighthearted and I like the intensity because it helps me elevate my game, stay focused and stay plugged in mentally.
You don’t have time to think about anything else. You stay at the shop and you work and your conversations are no longer, ‘Damn, that was a good day at the lake’ or ‘When are we going to have a beer?’
Kiss my ass. Pay window’s open and I’m going racing.
If we actually won it, who knows how I would feel? That’s an emotion that only a few have ever felt.
But for me, I think it would be like when I won my first Cup race. There I was with my dad, my mom, my brother. It would be just like it was when we started this dream when I was 5 years old.
It’s like, holy crap. This is real.
To win a championship would be pretty wild — and I can promise you, not knocking anybody, the banquet would be way more fun if we did.