Fill-in-the-blank: Auto Club

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I should have known it was going to be a special weekend at Auto Club Speedway when an owl interrupted practiceJimmie Johnson wrecked his primary car in practiceKyle Larson won the pole . Sure enough, I was rightwrongwondering what happened to my pet owl . Auto Club Speedway always provides the most excitingwesternmostfastestmost recent race of the season, and this race was really no exceptionordinary raceonions, Animal Style, pleaseweek to have Matt Kenseth on your fantasy team .

What really blew my mind was when Martin Truex Jr. didn’t pit for tires at the end of the raceKyle Larson tweeted a picture of his credit card . Why would someone do such a carelessmisinformedsillygenius thing? I guess we can’t all be like Brad KeselowskiClint BowyerDaniel SuarezJamie McMurrayRyan BlaneyChase ElliottChip Ganassi , who ended up having a really solid race. It’s still amazing to me how Jimmie Johnson has finished every single career lap at ACSKyle Larson is so fast this seasonwe’ve been racing at Auto Club Speedway for 20 years“Ty Dillon” is an anagram for “Tiny Doll” .

I think I’m going to celebrate Kyle Larson’s winClint Bowyer’s best finish in nearly two yearsBrad Keselowski’s impressive comebackDaniel Suarez’s second consecutive seventh-place finishheading to Martinsville next week by stocking up some Cottonelle at Targetbuying some Mobil 1 at Rush Truck Centersinstalling Wurth auto parts on my Ford while sipping Miller Liteordering whatever a Number 7 is at Subwaylogging onto Twitter and telling Dale Jr. to go faster . While it’s been fun racing on something that’s described as “D-shaped”out West for the past three weekson fast trackswithout Carl Edwards winning all the raceswith young drivers leading the packat over 200 mph , it’ll be nice to head to Martinsville next week for some good, old-fashioned short-track racingshort-track temperspaper-clippinghot dog chuggingpaint trading — that is, as soon as I track down my pet owlset down my phone and grab some Cottonelleshort pit for fresh tireswrite Kyle Larson’s name on my playoff gridsend more angry tweets to Dale Jr.’s crew chiefbuy Kyle Larson gear and pretend I’ve been a fan for yearsset my clock back to East Coast timedrop my Matt Kenseth diecast off a cliff so it’s crash-accurate .