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Attention NASCAR fans: Let’s name as many things after Jimmie Johnson as possible

Hello NASCAR fans. We need your help to make Jimmie Johnson’s retirement from full-time racing as memorable as possible. And it’s really easy to do so, thanks to our brilliant and ingenious plan. Read on.

When a driver of great renown like Jimmie retires, many tracks pay homage by naming things after him. Atlanta Motor Speedway named a tower after him …

New Hampshire Motor Speedway named a 5K running trail around the track after him …

… and gave him a musket should any Redcoats show up at his house demanding fealty to the King but that’s not really the point here.

Oh, and Homestead-Miami Speedway named a tunnel after him …

Here’s the thing — we can’t stop here. And that’s where you, the race fan, comes in.

Here’s what we want to do. We want you to name as many things as possible after Jimmie Johnson. It doesn’t matter what said thing is. It can be large, small, stationary, alive ­– whatever you desire. A bookcase. A can of soup. A hamster cage. Your own pelvic bone. The item itself is irrelevant. The sheer number of things that are named for Jimmie? That’s what’s important.

We think the volume of things that are named after ol’ Seven-Time will convey the legacy he has left in this sport. He deserves it. His name deserves to be ubiquitous. And when he retires from full-time racing, you will always remember his contributions to the sport, as you sit in your Jimmie Johnson Recliner, sipping a beer from the Jimmie Johnson Beer Stein, flipping from channel to channel with the Jimmie Johnson TV Remote.

When you have decided what you will be naming after Jimmie, tweet it to myself, @nascarcasm, using the hashtag #NamedAfterJimmie. Also, there must be signage. It can be a label from a common household label maker, a printout attached with tape, or scrawled on a Post-It note. We’ll aggregate and share several of them on NASCAR.com in a few weeks’ time. You can read them on your Jimmie Johnson Commemorative Tablet or Jimmie Johnson Honorary Laptop.

I’ll start. I give you the Jimmie Johnson Ceiling Fan…

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The Jimmie Johnson Shower Poof …

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The Jimmie Johnson Commemorative “Rock Me Amadeus” On Vinyl …

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And the Jimmie Johnson Commemorative Confused Dog …

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… and now it’s your turn. Pick an item, any item, slap some signage on it, and tweet it to @nascarcasm using the hashtag #NamedForJimmie.

Our hope is that we can provide a proper sendoff to a driver who absolutely deserves it. Let’s name as many things as possible. Years from now, as you’re sitting on your Jimmie Johnson Beanbag, reading your Jimmie Johnson Commemorative Copy Of “Twilight,” you’ll remember that you were part of something special. Enough from me. Get to naming!