Karen Goins-Byrnes certainly wasn’t anticipating this autograph request as she and her teenage son Bryson walked out of the Bristol (Tenn.) Motor Speedway infield before last Sunday’s NASCAR Sprint Cup Series race at the track.
It wasn’t so much “the ask” she received but the canvas she was offered that really stood out. A race fan asked them to sign a flag right next to the signature of her late husband and Bryson’s father, Steve, a NASCAR on FOX broadcaster who died on this day, April 21, one year ago after a courageous and well-fought battle with cancer.
“You know that on Father’s Day and Christmas and Steve’s birthday (just last week) those moments are going to be intense, emotional and sad, but then there’s these other moments that you completely do not expect that suddenly take your breath away, like the flag on Sunday,” Karen Goins-Byrnes shared this week. “I just wasn’t expecting that, and all of a sudden it made you realize, ‘Oh my goodness, this person is gone from our life.’
“I was walking with Bryson and had not anticipated that when we looked down at this flag, wow, there was his signature. And it was just surreal knowing that at some point he had touched that same piece of material; now we we’re touching it. Steve’s touched everything in this house, so I don’t know why that hit me so hard but it was … I don’t know, it was out-of-context, unexpected.
“I don’t think it was a coincidence. It was very impactful for Bryson and I both to see that.”
RELATED: Steve Byrnes remembered, 1959-2015
In the past year, the Byrnes family has been “adopted” by those close to Steve and also those who never met the longtime NASCAR broadcaster but were touched by his story of courage and strength battling cancer not once but twice.
In the time since he passed away Byrnes, then 56, has been honored at the NASCAR Hall of Fame and received the prestigious Squier-Hall Award for media excellence. His likeness and another tribute hang on a large plaque at the Charlotte FOX studios.
“Steve was not a person who sought out a lot of attention, he was not the look-at-me type of person,” Goins-Byrnes said. “I know he’s up in heaven going, ‘I had no idea.’ He is completely surprised at all the different things that have happened to remember him and honor him. I’m shocked, I know he’s shocked too.”
Drivers, fellow broadcasters and FOX personnel have joined the broader NASCAR community supporting this family in ways both obvious and subtle.
Their “new” way of life is still so greatly influenced by the one they miss so dearly.
“We’re persevering,” Goins-Byrnes said, after pausing to select the most accurate description.
She and her son don’t know quite what to anticipate today — their feelings and emotions. It will be a very busy schedule of things to do and that was purposeful.
On Wednesday, she and Bryson attended a luncheon hosted by FOX Sports in Charlotte, where they posed for photos alongside close family friends Michael Waltrip and Larry McReynolds. There is a wonderful shot of Bryson standing next to a memorial for his father on the studio’s wall.
Goins-Byrnes, who is now doing part-time work for Charlotte-based Speedway Motorsports Inc., has a professional commitment for part of the day Thursday and will be escorting champion NHRA racer Erica Enders to a Speedway Children’s Charities event at Charlotte’s Levine Children’s Hospital.
“It just happened to be the day she’s available,” Goins-Byrnes said of the timing. “It was funny, when Erica said the 21st, I was like that’s the day, but I decided that’s the way it’s supposed to be, then. Every single month on the 21st will never be just another day for me. Every 21st of the month, I know it’s been nine months, 10 months, 11 months.
“But honestly, I feel like not continuing to live dishonors Steve. Somebody was asking me about Bryson and I doing a lot of activities. I feel like if we had stopped doing things, that would have dishonored him (Steve). Living and doing things honors him. I certainly know he would not have wanted us to say, ‘Oh, I can’t do something because it was the 21st of the month.’ He would have scolded us and said, ‘It’s just a date; go and do.’ “
And actually, Goins-Byrnes concedes, it’s the times alone or void of activity that have been most challenging.
“People will say, ‘It looks like ya’ll are doing well, doing good.’ But I don’t post on social media when we’re lying on the floor crying,” she said. “There are days that are gut-wrenching and those days you have to keep pushing through, pushing on.”
Pushing on for Bryson Byrnes has been quite literal. His days, nights and most weekends are filled with sports — football and lacrosse are favorites. And Bryson isn’t only succeeding on the field — he was inducted into the National Junior Honor Society this week.
“People talk about what an amazing young man he is, and I’ll be honest,” Goins-Byrnes said adding with a laugh. “He makes straight-As and Steve and I never did that in school. Steve and I used to look at his report cards and go, ‘Wow. This must be the nurture part,’ because the nature part, we’re not responsible for this level of achievement. I can promise you.
“We have been blessed with a really good kid. I think God knew what path he was going to ask us to walk and so he gave us a child that was well-equipped.”
“He still battles, sometimes, the unexpected moments,” she said, pausing. “You just hadn’t anticipated that even if it’s a good thing, it’s void of Steve being here.”
As Goins-Byrnes and I were saying our goodbyes we discussed the cancer battles so deeply affecting so many in NASCAR — family members and extended family. We weren’t sure if it was unusually prevalent among our sport or if circumstances made us more aware.
Driver Martin Truex Jr.’s longtime girlfriend, Sherry Pollex, finished up her chemotherapy in January, and remains such a positive force travelling around the country to educate others and bring awareness of ovarian cancer. The couple’s Catwalk for a Cause event next month — which raises money for childhood cancers — is sold out again this year.
While the potential for raising funds is high, it will be the most difficult of programs considering four of last year’s models and inspirations have passed away — a first for Truex and Pollex.
Among them is my longtime friend Becky’s son, Elijah Aschbrenner, 10, who fought a rare Epitheliod Sarcoma diagnosis and passed away on Nov. 11. His family has started the Prayers for Elijah Foundation to raise money and awareness of the disease.
RELATED: Cain: Gratitude for Elijah Aschbrenner’s inspiration
Torie Costa, Scott Zipadelli’s 20-year old step-daughter, died on Christmas day on her second fight with Alveolar Rhabdomyosarcoma.
Grace, 14, passed away after fighting Osteosarcoma. Clint Bowyer‘s wife, Lorra, carried an inspirational sign for her at last year’s Catwalk because she was too ill to participate.
Jeramiah, 8, passed away after battling leukemia, not once but twice. His passing in August was the first of Truex and Pollex’s “Catwalk” kids.
The great Buddy Baker died in August after being diagnosed with lung cancer.
Erik Jones shared last Saturday after his XFINITY Series win at Bristol that his father was recently diagnosed with cancer.
Tabitha Burton, Daytona 500 winner Ward’s wife and XFINITY Series racer Jeb’s mom, was diagnosed with breast cancer last year and is recovering from the surgeries and treatment. Former NASCAR racer Shawna Robinson continues to recover from her breast cancer diagnosis and treatment as well.
And I’m still fighting breast cancer myself, with multiple surgeries ahead this year.
My hair is — slowly — growing, I’ve regained the weight I lost in chemo and radiation, and many of the NASCAR drivers I deal with now are completely unaware of my medical situation — which can feel like an achievement. Those that do know have been incredibly kind and encouraging.
Cancer is, at the very least, a maddening disease, and its impact on NASCAR is similar to its impact in general.
We have lost influential souls such as Byrnes and Baker and the promises of so many so young, like Aschbrenner and Costa.
Perhaps the brightest and most lasting legacy left by my friend Byrnes was a feeling of “never give up,” and the firm knowledge that this is a community that cares greatly and perpetually.
Today will be challenging for the Byrnes family and all those who cared deeply for Steve. There will be times of sadness, of laughter, of gratitude for the time shared, and unquestionably a sense of knowing that he would want us to carry on and prevail.
“He was a very humble person,” Goins-Byrnes said. “He never looked at himself as being exceptional, just a normal guy, a husband and a father and a guy with a job he enjoys.
“I think the way people have responded in remembering him really has shown what type of a person he is. They comment, ‘What a great guy he is.’ You wouldn’t believe how many pictures I’ve received from race fans with him stopping for a picture or to sign an autograph.
“I don’t think he realized the kind of influence he had. I certainly didn’t. I don’t think he had any idea how many people he touched and what kind of influence he had.’ ”
I still have text messages from Steve on my phone — we exchanged many while going through our treatments. One in particular makes my heart happiest and I will most likely glance at it often today.
On the Monday after last year’s Bristol spring race — named in Steve’s honor — I texted him to make sure he had watched the race, seen all the tributes and enjoyed the love.
He responded: “Still smilin.”
