| 1 |
1 |
 |
Jeff Gordon |
This week marks the 10th anniversary of his ’94 win at the Brickyard. And the 10th-anniversary of Brett Bodine’s second-place finish at the Brickyard. |
| 2 |
3 |
 |
Jimmie Johnson |
They should change the name from “Chase to the Nextel Cup” to “In one night, my boss went from 500 points behind to five behind.” |
| 3 |
6 |
 |
Kasey Kahne |
“Me and Tony have had a few problems this year, but I still don’t have any problems racing with the guy,” said Kahne. He probably meant he has no problems racing him because he has only one fewer top-five finish. |
| 4 |
2 |
 |
Ryan Newman |
How he finished 13th at Pocono, we’ll never know. But we’ll find out as soon as we solve the mystery as to why he has fewer top-10s than Jamie McMurray. |
| 5 |
4 |
 |
Tony Stewart |
That was his first race-ending accident in over a year, and his first on a superspeedway in over two years. |
| 6 |
7 |
 |
Kurt Busch |
Can you imagine Kurt’s relief when replays showed he never hit Tony’s car? He could actually take his helmet off. |
| 7 |
8 |
 |
Jeremy Mayfield |
The leader of the Buzzcut Faction is knocking on the door of the Chase for the Nextel Cup, chasing Kevin Harvick, who is also a member of the Buzzcut Faction, although not by choice. |
| 8 |
12 |
 |
Mark Martin |
In the latest UPS commercial, Dale Jarrett is told that he can't wear the UPS shorts. Dejected, Jarrett gave the shorts to Martin, who uses them as a regular pair of pants. |
| 9 |
5 |
 |
Michael Waltrip |
That guy from Wendy’s broke Waltrip’s unofficial record for commercial appearances last week, but that fact went unreported in the papers. |
| 10 |
9 |
 |
Jamie McMurray |
Poor boy was almost in tears when he didn't win Indy last year. Mainly because he could have paid off his mortgage. |
| 11 |
14 |
 |
Terry Labonte |
Wow. Sixth place at Pocono, and all it cost us on our fantasy team was a few bucks. You know, this guy is one of the greatest online fantasy racers of all time. Which was probably not exactly Terry's goal as a kid growing up in the 1960s. |
| 12 |
10 |
 |
Bobby Labonte |
We’re starting to think that green is bad luck after all. |
| 13 |
15 |
 |
Elliott Sadler |
His hair is getting long. Which proves that Sadler does not hang around Casey Mears too much, because Mears would never let something like that happen. |
| 14 |
13 |
 |
Dale Jarrett |
He really should race the UPS truck in a Busch race next year. Run the whole schedule. That way, there will be a couple races a year he can score a top-five despite finishing 80 laps down. |
| 15 |
16 |
 |
Matt Kenseth |
He said he had a brain-fade and slapped the pit road wall during practice, then went on to score one of his best qualifying efforts of the year. Which means he should try to take out the pit road wall during practice at Watkins Glen. |
| 16 |
11 |
 |
Dale Earnhardt Jr. |
You got to wonder whether DEI got John Andretti his own Budweiser uniform, or whether he wore one of Dale Jr.’s. We could have sworn John had those sleeves rolled up about two feet. |
| 17 |
21 |
 |
Casey Mears |
A Mears win at Indy. Stranger things have happened. You have got to remember, Brett Bodine held the Indy track record for like a year. |
| 18 |
17 |
 |
Brian Vickers |
Aw man, you can’t get into Bobby Labonte. That is like hitting a cop. A cop with a green cruiser. |
| 19 |
18 |
 |
Kevin Harvick |
His DNF streak was snapped at Pocono, we’ll focus on his current streak of three, which is the amount of races he’s been shown without a hat. |
| 20 |
22 |
 |
Robby Gordon |
He’s rumored to be in the running for the third car at Gibbs, which makes sense, so he and Tony can help the environment by carpooling to Indy every May. |
| 21 |
20 |
 |
Rusty Wallace |
He’s an avid golfer but he hasn’t gotten very good yet. But he will get better once he starts playing without a drivers’ suit. |
| 22 |
23 |
 |
Greg Biffle |
He is rumored to be staying with Roush in 2005. He’s still negotiating to have some 2005 mechanical failures transferred to Kurt Busch. |
| 23 |
19 |
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Sterling Marlin |
He’s a big supporter of Tennessee Vols coach Phil Fulmer, who is currently unwilling to set foot in Alabama. Which means Sterling will run the race at Talladega by speakerphone. |
| 24 |
19 |
 |
Scott Wimmer |
It must be pretty cool to be a rookie and get to drive the big track in Indianapolis. What is even cooler is the paycheck you get a few days after running it. |
| 25 |
25 |
 |
Jeff Burton |
Well, at least the crew won’t have to repaint the wrecked car. |
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