| 1 |
5 |
 |
Greg Biffle |
What a performance. Hard not to gush over it. It was like the rest of the field was subjected to Adrian from Rocky IV screaming, “You caaaaaaaaaaaan’t win!” If you haven't yet seen Rocky IV, it's probably on TNT. Right now. |
| 2 |
1 |
 |
Jimmie Johnson |
It's probably just as difficult to score 30 top-10 finishes as it is for a pitcher to win 30 games in the National League. And Jimmie Johnson has a very good shot at 30 top-10 finishes. See, we said something nice. For once. |
| 3 |
3 |
 |
Jeff Gordon |
He ran so badly all weekend at Texas and has never really gotten his car dialed in during his career there. Maybe he was scared about what he would look like in that cowboy hat. |
| 4 |
10 |
 |
Rusty Wallace |
Report: Rusty Wallace’s spotter says job much easier with Travis Kvapil in garage |
| 5 |
3 |
 |
Mark Martin |
“Mark Martin has got a lot better head on his shoulders than what he did right there,” said Jeff Green after that big wreck. You can almost hear Shane Hmiel telling Green, “You better hurry, because Mark hasn’t got much time left.” |
| 6 |
4 |
 |
Elliott Sadler |
He will have the Star Wars paint scheme at Phoenix this weekend. We hear fans have been waiting in line for four months at the shop to view the car. |
| 7 |
8 |
 |
Tony Stewart |
Aw man! You can’t throw Stanton Barrett under the bus like that! Stanton is too used to it! Literally! |
| 8 |
6 |
 |
Kasey Kahne |
We’re pretty sure that was the first time an Avon spokesman ever started an event at Texas Motor Speedway. |
| 9 |
12 |
 |
Sterling Marlin |
OK, so maybe he’s got a five percent chance of returning. Car run good. |
| 10 |
18 |
 |
Jamie McMurray |
He says that Chip Ganassi is nicer when the team is not running well. Which means he was pretty chummy before this weekend. |
| 11 |
11 |
 |
Dale Earnhardt Jr. |
We need the girl from the Enterprise commercial saying, “Dale Jr.! You best get a top-five for me!” OK, so that’s not very funny, but the thought of those two going to a prom makes us break out in a guffaw. |
| 12 |
7 |
 |
Kevin Harvick |
He’s losing way too many points on the 1.5-mile tracks. |
| 13 |
9 |
 |
Ryan Newman |
So Rusty said that Matt Borland wouldn’t give him much information on the setups that are on Newman’s car. Rusty’s a pretty smart guy, so we’re confident he only wants the Friday setup. |
| 14 |
13 |
 |
Carl Edwards |
This guy cracks us up. In a good way, of course. We wish we could be there when they told him his salary for 2005. He was probably like, “Wow! We get paid?!” |
| 15 |
14 |
 |
Kurt Busch |
You gotta admit that Kurt was pretty tough to get in 500 miles on Sunday after that hit in the IROC race. |
| 16 |
16 |
 |
Dale Jarrett |
He’s got seven straight top-23 finishes. And Shane Hmiel used to drive the No. 23 car. We’ll find a connection in anything. |
| 17 |
20 |
 |
Jeff Burton |
He had a hot dog wrapper on his grill at Texas. Which means Elliott Sadler was eating during the race. |
| 18 |
NR |
 |
Casey Mears |
To get to the next level he’s got to show he can score a top-10 on a track shorter than 1.5 miles. |
| 19 |
17 |
 |
Matt Kenseth |
We tried to make his cat famous. We failed. Maybe the cat should star in commercial with Dale Jr. Maybe he could take it to the prom. |
| 20 |
NR |
 |
Michael Waltrip |
Funny incident we saw at Texas: Two, um, “happy” fans saw Tony Eury Sr. on Saturday afternoon in the parking lot and got all up in his face, screaming, “Dale Earnhardt Jr.! Hell yeah!” |
| 21 |
NR |
 |
Jeremy Mayfield |
He was pretty miffed that he was left out of the Power Rankings last week, but even more miffed that he wasn’t chosen by Avon to be an official male spokesman. |
| 22 |
22 |
 |
Kyle Busch |
He was on the cover of Life magazine last week with his brother. Also in the issue was a “look at spring skirts for women of all shapes, from the classic A-line to 'peasant' looks.” |
| 23 |
NR |
 |
Ricky Rudd |
Fatback’s looking pretty good. Looks like he has dropped a lot of weight. He’ll be down to Kyle Busch weight if he keeps it up. |
| 24 |
15 |
 |
Scott Riggs |
Like Bobby Labonte, he’s another guy who will be happy if he doesn’t see another loose race car for awhile. |
| 25 |
25 |
 |
Brian Vickers |
What’s his next car color? Fuchsia? |
