| 1 |
1 |
 |
Tony Stewart |
The alternator belt came off, and Tony had to switch over to the other battery. As a result, he had to shut off the brake duct blowers, all the tire blowers, rear end fan, air conditioner and microwave. |
| 2 |
8 |
 |
Greg Biffle |
We found this old headline last week, talking about his win at Darlington earlier this year: “Biffle brings home bacon in OT” Which was obviously written by Ryan Newman. |
| 3 |
3 |
 |
Matt Kenseth |
He was in a T-shirt about 36 seconds after the checkered flag. Because Kenseth is no dummy. That way Kurt Busch can’t find him. |
| 4 |
5 |
 |
Carl Edwards |
If he wins the title, keeps the teeth white and stays with Amanda Beard, then he’s going to have to start planning for the grand entrance at his 10th high school reunion back home in Columbia, Missouri. It’s going to be huge. |
| 5 |
7 |
 |
Mark Martin |
After the race, I was right there to document how many times Mark said the word “honored.” But he didn’t. It was a shocker. Much bigger shocker than the win. |
| 6 |
6 |
 |
Rusty Wallace |
As Martin took the checkered flag, I can tell what he was thinking: “Oh, crap. Now I am the only Chaser without a win.” |
| 7 |
2 |
 |
Ryan Newman |
If gas prices don’t go down, he and Rusty will have to start carpooling to the Tuesday team meeting |
| 8 |
4 |
 |
Kurt Busch |
He guess he got mad that Kenseth wouldn’t let him lead a lap. Kurt really needed those five bonus points too. If he had gotten those five valuable Nextel Cup bonus points, it would have gotten him within 65 points of Jeremy Mayfield for that pivotal ninth spot. |
| 9 |
12 |
 |
Jimmie Johnson |
Been asked this a lot: Jimmie wears a Braves hat because he is good friends with Atlanta second baseman Marcus Giles, not because he has hopes of a playoff collapse. |
| 10 |
9 |
 |
Brian Vickers |
Man, NBC had a lot of time to fill after the race ended. They interviewed Brian for 36 minutes. It was getting bad. Before the interview finally cut off, the next question was, "So....do you support President's Bush's selection of Harriet Miers to the Supreme Court?" |
| 11 |
15 |
 |
Ricky Rudd |
Report: Rudd thinks Scott Stapp is field-filler from 1984 season |
| 12 |
10 |
 |
Jeremy Mayfield |
Well, we finally figured out why he retains the buzzcut. He is worried the dogs won’t recognize him without it. |
| 13 |
20 |
 |
Casey Mears |
We’re going to let Sterling give us the run-down of Mears’ day on Sunday. "Car run good. Boys at shop worked hard. Thanks to Target. See ya at Charlotte." |
| 14 |
11 |
 |
Kevin Harvick |
I have to give Harvick props his protégé, who is named Burney Lamar. This is easily already one of the greater names in motorsports. If he ever sweeps a Busch and a Cup weekend, some clever headline writer will use “Weekend at Burneys.” You heard it here first, folks. |
| 15 |
13 |
 |
Kyle Busch |
If he and Travis Kvapil can combine for two more wins, the two rookies will match the total number of vowels (three) in their last names. |
| 16 |
18 |
 |
Joe Nemechek |
Every time they go to a track where Nemechek has won – like Kansas – they harp on ancient history. "So Joe, do you think you can repeat this year?” Just once, I want to hear him say, “No, we don’t have a prayer today. In fact, if I win, both me and Boris will shave our heads." |
| 17 |
16 |
 |
Jeff Burton |
Report: Chiefs coach Dick Vermeil bursts into tears upon meeting Jeff Burton in the garage at Kansas |
| 18 |
21 |
 |
Kasey Kahne |
Report: Kahne fan cashes Social Security check |
| 19 |
14 |
 |
Dale Jarrett |
Everyone thought his win at Talladega was like really dramatic, but I think it was just a marketing tool for his new show on SPEED. |
| 20 |
17 |
 |
Elliott Sadler |
I forget where I saw this, but someone actually asked Sadler last week if he owned any pets. Which is kind of like asking Jack Roush if he owns a hat. |
| 21 |
19 |
 |
Jamie McMurray |
The number change by Roush is totally going to mess up his plans to sculpt his hair into a giant "6." |
| 22 |
23 |
 |
Sterling Marlin |
I loved his post-Kansas quote: "We stayed in the top 10 for the first half of the race, but track position was so danged hard to keep." |
| 23 |
NR |
 |
Jeff Gordon |
Man, he is running a lot better now. He won’t have to rely on the past champions’ provisional next year, and he might even avoid fans calling him “Darrell.” |
| 24 |
NR |
 |
Jeff Green |
He’s the highest-ranking Jeff in the last six races. And second-highest Kentuckian. And Petty Enterprises driver. He’d also be the highest-ranked goateed driver, but Sadler has got him by 53 points. |
| 25 |
NR |
 |
Travis Kvapil |
Cheese curds. |
