| 1 |
5 |
 |
Carl Edwards |
4 out of 5 dentists recommend him for the Nextel Cup title. |
| 2 |
1 |
 |
Tony Stewart |
Hey Mark. Tony wasn’t mad when you put a donut on his car. He was mad because it wasn’t glazed.
|
| 3 |
4 |
 |
Mark Martin |
This is what he should have said about the race: “I am just honored to have the opportunity to argue with a man like Tony Stewart. That was just awesome.”
|
| 4 |
9 |
 |
Jimmie Johnson |
His weekly teleconference was canceled for the second straight week. Johnson was off testing Terry Labonte’s car somewhere.
|
| 5 |
6 |
 |
Matt Kenseth |
He is running awfully well. He might get his second win of the year before his beloved Green Bay Packers do. |
| 6 |
3 |
 |
Greg Biffle |
Richert: “I want you to go out and hit the pace car!” Biffle: “Hit the pace car?!” Richert: “Hiiiiiiiiiiiit the pace car!” |
| 7 |
7 |
 |
Kurt Busch |
So he finally got out and will be driving the No. 2 Dodge. Miller Brewing isn’t all that worried about his last name. They are worried their new driver doesn’t look 21.
|
| 8 |
10 |
 |
Brian Vickers |
"I’ve gotta wash the hair, Jimmie. Go out and test at Phoenix for me. Just make sure Biffle doesn’t find out now, ya hear?" |
| 9 |
13 |
 |
Ricky Rudd |
They are going to replace Ricky Rudd with Ken Schrader. Which means the Wood Brothers clearly wanted someone with a little more experience. |
| 10 |
2 |
 |
Jeff Gordon |
OK, so it was probably wrong to rank him No. 2 last week. We were just trying to give him a boost of confidence. As if the Belgian model wasn’t enough.
|
| 11 |
8 |
 |
Ryan Newman |
A lot of people were wondering why Ryan didn’t shut the car off after his first qualifying lap. He was trying to get back to set the Tivo to record Rusty’s Dateline interview. |
| 12 |
17 |
 |
Denny Hamlin |
He will be driving a black car next year in a bid to toughen up his image. Now all he needs is a tough nickname like Smoke. |
| 13 |
12 |
 |
Jeff Burton |
At Phoenix four years ago, Burton beat Mike Wallace head to head for the win. I wouldn’t be too shocked if Burton won this weekend. But it won’t be easy for Mike Wallace to finish second.
|
| 14 |
11 |
 |
Jamie McMurray |
The perfect 24 hours: 1. Contract release 2. Pedicure 3. Episode of Tyra Banks Show
|
| 15 |
18 |
 |
Dale Earnhardt Jr. |
Folks, on Sunday, we witnessed the return of the Enterprise prom commercial. I thought it was dead. If Dale Jr. has this sort of comeback, he will win the next two races. It was that profound. Out of nowhere. Boom. "You best open that door for me!" |
| 16 |
21 |
 |
Elliott Sadler |
After a six-month investigation, we have finally discovered what Elliott is saying on the Rapid Release commercial. He says, "Soaked tires." I am serious. This took a lot of work. |
| 17 |
19 |
 |
Casey Mears |
Don’t worry, dude. Stremme is still technically older. So he’s the Sterling Marlin of the group. |
| 18 |
NR |
 |
Dale Jarrett |
Pretty good run at Texas, although his sponsor would have had a lot more exposure if Carl Edwards’ mother had worn a Dale Jarrett shirt.
|
| 19 |
23 |
 |
Kevin Harvick |
His win at Texas showed how emotional he can get. But in all seriousness, that helped cement him as one of the best Busch racers of all time. |
| 20 |
20 |
 |
Bobby Labonte |
It is truly an end to an era. Bobby Labonte didn’t want to leave that team. Period.
|
| 21 |
16 |
 |
Joe Nemechek |
Report: Marlin says Nemechek’s Florida upbringing makes him a yankee |
| 22 |
14 |
 |
Kyle Busch |
Next year, with his brother’s new job, he will turn 21 at the perfect time.
|
| 23 |
15 |
 |
Rusty Wallace |
He said on Dateline that he only hates a few people. He refused to say who. But you can bet one of them is May-Ling. |
| 24 |
NR |
 |
Kyle Petty |
Unless he didn’t know it before, Rusty Wallace knew he should have taken tires when Kyle went charging past him for 21st place on the final lap.
|
| 25 |
22 |
 |
Jeremy Mayfield |
Take the rest of the year off. Get your tux fitted. |
