@nascarcasm: This day in Jimmie Johnson history …

As Jimmie Johnson's full-time racing career comes to a close, we figured we'd take a look and determine which particular calendar days are the most significant.

On this day in 2013, Jimmie Johnson wins his second Daytona 500, and celebrates by recording a "Harlem Shake" video with the No. 48 team. It’s on YouTube. In terms of dancing, Jimmie ain't quite Shakira but you have to admire the effort.

This year on this day, Jimmie served as the grand marshal at Auto Club Speedway, with his wife Chandra and his children Genevieve and Lydia, waving the green flag to start the race. We are all about awesome family moments. This was one of them.

In 2009, Jimmie wins his sixth race at Martinsville Speedway. He won five times prior and would win three times after, but we wanted something for the month of March. You read that right -- he has nine Martinsville grandfather clocks, which is absolutely amazing except for when daylight saving time begins and you have to set nine clocks forward.

After seven championships, we assumed Jimmie was content with his career accomplishments. That was until, however, this date in 2018, when Texas Motor Speedway gifted him with his own signature bobblehead. Sure, it looks like they accidentally ordered an Aric Almirola bobblehead and had to repaint them all by hand but it's the thought that counts here.

April 15 is a big day for Jimmie. In 2019, this is the day that he completed the Boston Marathon, as if we needed another piece of evidence that he's physically superior to all of us. However, it was this date in 2018 at Bristol Motor Speedway that the world learned a harrowing fact about Jimmie -- he has never seen "Dodgeball." This needs to be the first activity on Day 1 of your retirement, pal.

It was this day in 2011 when Jimmie Johnson won at Talladega by mere .002 seconds over Clint Bowyer, thanks to a push from his teammate Dale Earnhardt Jr. From this point forward, Junior Nation would remind Jimmie of this EVERY time they'd race at a superspeedway.

OH, HARROWING DAY. In 2010, Jimmie Johnson managed to enrage teammate Jeff Gordon at Talladega Superspeedway, which led to the infamous "The No. 48 is testing my patience" interview. A slowing Johnson apparently forced Gordon to the bottom of the track, which led to him getting caught up in a crash. It wasn't the angriest we've seen Jeff Gordon (See: "Coming At Jeff Burton Like An Enraged Rhesus Monkey"), but it's up there.

You can mark this date down as the beginning of an era. In 2002 at Auto Club Speedway, Jimmie won his first career Cup race. There were also a few wins after this one. Not sure if you heard or not.

On this date, Jimmie Johnson won his third NASCAR All-Star Race, which was marked by him giving team owner Rick Hendrick this ride of questionable safety to Victory Lane. Think of this as an early form of Lyft.

Jimmie has won 11 times at Dover, but only once did he don a rainbow wig in Victory Lane. This was in 2012, for a "Madagascar 3" promotion. To everyone who ever accused Jimmie of being vanilla, he basically came at you like "MORE LIKE RAINBOW SHERBET, SUCKAAAA."

THE DOWNSIDE: Jimmie Johnson's most recent win occurs at Dover on this date in 2017.
THE UPSIDE: He tied Cale Yarborough on the all-time wins list with 83.

Michigan International Speedway was long the bane of Jimmie's existence. He could simply not win there. He hated Michigan more than Ohio State. Heck, watch the end of the 2009 June race, where he had the lead and ran out of fuel in the final laps. He was finally able to break the Michigan curse on this date in 2014. Finally something went right for the guy.

Before we thought that Jimmie was theoretically invincible, we thought he was physically invincible. On this date in 2000 during the Xfinity Series race at Watkins Glen, Jimmie hit the foam barrier head-on in a frightening crash, but emerged from his car, stood on its roof, and raised his arms like Superman about to take flight. Imagine thinking at that point, "Man, kid can't control a car -- doubt we'll see much more of him." TRICK.

It was this date way back in 2001 when Jimmie earned his first and only race win in the Xfinity Series. That’s right, this guy only won a single Xfinity Series race. Again, doubt he'll amount to much. Imagine if the @FreezingColdTakes Twitter account existed back then.

Who is that unibrowed, milquetoast little rookie down there making his first career Xfinity Series start at Lucas Oil Raceway Park on this day in 1998?

Jimmie's generally the cool-headed voice of reason, but as Red said in "The Shawshank Redemption," "Every man got his breaking point." Upset with contact during the Watkins Glen race in 2019, Jimmie went straight over to Ryan Blaney and gave him A PIECE OF HIS MIND. This was as mad as we've ever seen Jimmie. Look at that. Like a dad upset with the referee’s call at his kid's soccer game. UNBRIDLED RAGE.

On this day in 2006, Jimmie wins the Brickyard 400 for the first time. He and the famous yard of bricks would make out three more times in 2008, 2009 and 2012.

It was this day in 2008 when Jimmie made his one and only NGROTS start, piloting the No. 81 truck for Randy Moss Motorsports. Jimmie got caught up in an early wreck and finished 34th. A shame because if he had only made a few more starts and gotten some more seat time, he could have maybe moved up to the higher ranks.

This glorious day in 2019 is when Jimmie's beloved dog, Charlie Meatball, was introduced to the world. Beloved. Scruffy. Just like Jimmie himself.

DAD FIGHT! On this day in 2015, Jimmie Johnson was on the business end of a brutal haymaker from Kevin Harvick at Chicagoland Speedway. This happened in the motorcoach lot, where driver disputes used to be handled before they were moved to Applebee's.

On October 1, 2018 came the most scorched-earth vitriol to ever spew forth from Jimmie’s Twitter account. Which is to say not all that "scorched-earth" compared to most. The dude abbreviated "Jackass."

This day in 2001 marked the very first Cup start for Jimmie, in the UAW-GM Quality 500. He wrecked and finished 39th. But don't worry -- as you may have heard, things improved for him.

On this day in 2006, Jimmie did something he had yet to do -- win the Cup championship. This began his well-documented Cup-championship hoarding problem.

It was on this day in 2016 that Jimmie Johnson won his seventh championship, tying him with Richard Petty and Dale Earnhardt for the all-time most Cup Series championships. Basically Jimmie Johnson is not a first-ballot Hall-of-Famer by any means. He is a don't-even-need-a-ballot Hall-of-Famer.

On this date in 2010, Jimmie won his fifth consecutive championship. Here's some perspective for you – in this gallery, we mention three of his championships. To keep this gallery at a manageable length, we did not mention four of them. Basically he’s so good that we have to whittle down how many championships he has FOR SPACE REASONS.

We'd be remiss if we didn't mention this moment in 2006. Details are still vague to this day, but apparently at a charity golf tournament, Jimmie fell off the top of a moving golf cart and injured his wrist. Basically between the years of 2006-2010, the only thing to defeat Jimmie was gravity.