It hasn’t always been a day the popular, longtime FOX NASCAR broadcaster would get too carried away with. But every birthday becomes a big deal when you’re battling cancer.
"I look at it this way, I celebrate every day as a birthday,” said Byrnes, who turns 56.
"Some people say, ‘Oh no, another year older.’ To me, that’s a privilege, an absolute privilege.”
For many cancer patients, time kind of naturally ends up being marked in 21-day spans between chemotherapy treatments or hours hooked up to the chemo infusion or the minutes of daily radiation therapy.
More preferably it’s measured in the number of days you feel like yourself between the treatments, how many minutes your child’s hug can linger or the seconds it takes to read a friend’s text just when you needed a little uplift most.
I know this because I am in the middle of treatment for advanced stage breast cancer. And Steve was one of the very first people to reach out to me and offer his shoulder when I was diagnosed last summer.
He was in remission from head-and-neck cancer and wise to all the medical lingo, compassionate about the emotions I would experience and empathetic about the way my life was going to change.
His son Bryson and my two children are of similar age, all three navigating that tricky-enough stretch of middle school.
Steve’s message from the beginning was to be present and live in the moment — something everyone could stand a dose of whether you’re sick or not. That means stopping to take in an especially beautiful sunset, it means attending every lacrosse or soccer game you can and welcoming any interruptions to daily life that may result in a hug or laugh.
It means choosing to be positive in all aspects of life.
And while Steve was sending texts or calling to encourage and comfort me during the depths of my harsh chemo, surgeries and setbacks during the past eight months, his cancer returned. And has spread.
The only thing more difficult than telling your 10-year old son that you have cancer, is two years later telling that 12-year-old it’s back.
So it’s our turn to be there for Steve. And his wife Karen. And their 12-year old son Bryson, whose own spirit is inspiring!
This birthday, all of NASCAR is going big for Steve and his precious family.
Bristol Motor Speedway and Food City have renamed Sunday’s Sprint Cup race the "Food City 500 In Support of Steve Byrnes and Stand Up to Cancer."
"It’s more than overwhelming,” Steve said when I congratulated him on the news.
He laughed recalling when he initially found out about the race name, "My first reaction was there must be somebody else named Steve Byrnes who spells it with a ‘y.’ "
And when he told his son?
"Bryson immediately said, ‘What are you talking about?’
"I said, they put my name as part of the name of the race and he said, ‘Are you sure this is right?’
"I said, ‘Yes son, and I have a logo to prove it.’ "
He sure does, and that’s just the beginning. FOX Sports Supports is the charitable arm of the network, whose own employees selected the SU2C (Stand Up to Cancer) organization along with the Boys & Girls Clubs of America as a focus for resources and attention. And this was a perfect opportunity to honor their own and bring awareness to the cause.
As it does too often everywhere, cancer has impacted the NASCAR community. In addition to Byrnes and myself, several others are dealing with cancer right now including driver Martin Truex Jr.’s longtime girlfriend Sherry Pollex (ovarian cancer) and popular driver Shawna Robinson (breast cancer).
So when FOX approached Speedway Motorsports Inc. CEO Marcus Smith with the idea, it was immediately well-received by the race track as well as longtime sponsor Food City.
"We are honored to play a role in the entire thing,” Bristol Motor Speedway General Manager Jerry Caldwell said. "It’s fun to be able to honor a guy like Steve and do something that will bring all the fans together and the sport together.
"It’s one of the many reasons I love NASCAR. What other sport would you be able to do something like this? For our sport to be able to name one of our events and rally around one of our own through the event is humbling to be a part of."
NASCAR was also right on board.
"I think you see the outpouring of emotion around Steve Byrnes, and that’s a testament to what kind of person he is not only in the industry, a true friend of the industry, but a true family guy, he has the respect of all involved in the industry,” NASCAR Executive Vice President and Chief Racing Development Officer Steve O’Donnell said.
"So when you see something like that take place at Bristol, it’s something I’m proud of in our sport that everybody rallies behind not just Steve Byrnes, anyone in need. We’re all certainly thinking about him and now it’s our job to put on the greatest racing possible this weekend as we continue to think about him and his family."
For Byrnes it has been a humbling and moving gesture. And yet it is really a reflection of what he means and how one person can inspire and remind us of such a powerful message: to live in the now and appreciate every day like it’s your birthday.
"So many fans reach out to me with personal stories about cancer,” Byrnes said. "Just today, I got one from a three-time head-and-neck survivor, telling me, ‘You can do it.’ So many people have shared heart-warming stories or have questions for me because they are at the beginning of their journey. I read every one.
"It just reminds you how connected we can be with each other if we want to."
"I’ve been in NASCAR 30 years,” he continued. "I’ve always wanted drivers to respect me instead of liking me, and it’s just turned out I’ve got a lot of good relationships over the years.
"You do your job and go home and do it again the next week, but you never really know what kind of impact you have on people. I got a text message from (NASCAR Vice Chairman) Mike Helton the other day. Certainly that means the world. It’s just pleasing to know I guess I’ve done my job right, and it makes me happy they care enough about me to reach out when they have such busy lives."
So many do care.
I will end this column as I often do my texts with Byrnes.
There have been many times when our chemo treatments fall on the same day, and we text one another to help the time pass and make things less uncomfortable.
One conversation never fails to make us laugh despite our reality at the moment.
It involves the live FOX television interview Steve did at Fontana, California, two years ago with Tony Stewart after the champ’s pit road confrontation with Joey Logano.
Walking alongside Stewart in the garage moments after the incident, Steve asks for details and reaction. And Stewart — still obviously angry — drops a couple curse words and tells his side of the story.
When he’s done, Steve politely turns and says, "Thanks Tony." And Stewart, as if remembering his manners, pauses in the heat of his frustration and says to Steve, "Thank YOU."
Remembering the exchange has buoyed spirits when they needed it most.
So Steve, "Thank YOU."
And a very Happy Birthday.
Editor’s note: On the morning of his birthday, Steve Byrnes tweeted that he was returning to intensive care with respiratory issues.
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